The Trauma Generation, 5 ways to heal, #1 with the Divine Maternal

       

                   

Painting, by artist Kate Caputo, is titled, “The Woman", she had a vision of Mary cradling and covering a suffering sister, read more HERE

For Depth psychology most of us are living with trauma, it happens when the pain caused by insecure attachment in childhood - from divorce, a BPD mother, an absent father, neglect, or actual abuse - causes a split.

Demons, or complexes, rise up to protect the injured child, they provide defenses to keep the child safe from experiencing that sense of abandonment again.

Hence, one part of the personality matures quickly, perhaps a world weary street wise personality, or a precocious autistic-like intelligence, and one part remains a child.

Hollywood and entertainment is pushing this and normalizing this.

Look at all the toughest guys, rappers and rock stars and e-girls, or autists, and their love for anime.

                                                   

All the big tik-tok stars on the one hand talking about killing a bitch, on the other being a cartoon character. 

Like Corpse, hyper violence with cute cartoons !

              

Or Freddie Dread with more evil devil girls

                             

Or DeadPool - an 8 yr old boy in a violent man’s body, joking about being molested by uncles, competing with his girlfriends trauma of being sexual molested by multiple family members. All good fun and normalized. 

Ironically, just last week I joked with a girl about being chained to the toilet as a child, “Ah, my nanny, ol’ chainy, I miss her…”

                           

Gen Z is the first to experience the full consequences of WW1 and the industrial revolution destroying multi-generational families and communal living, now our primitive brain tells us we live in a world where our tribe has been decimated, and without it, as outcasts we will surly die…

So, what can we do ? 5 things.

1) Divine Recollection

Make friends with the Divine Mother. An archetype in Jungian psychology, a goddess in religions, and the Virgin Mary in Christianity.

Dr. Donald Kalsched in his book, “The Inner World of Trauma,” writes about a young woman who was abused by her father every Sunday when her mother went to church. The woman endured this sexual abuse for a long period of time. To get through it she used to have an out of body experience, so she could separate herself from the trauma to survive. In therapy one day Kalsched asks her, “I wonder where you went during that time.” She burst out in tears and exclaimed, “I was in the arms of Mother Mary!”

She holds our shattered self, while we go about our daily life. We are “dispirited” and are never really incarnated in our body to exist authentically with other people in real life, we cannot connect to them. But, if we can have a numinous experience with the Divine Mother, she can secure our attachment.

Check out his interview :

               

2) Make friends with your demons.

Truth is they are trying to protect you from being triggered of the original abandonment, to 'kill' outer relations in an effort to prevent further trauma 

Say, perfectionism. This defense will not allow you to be loved until you are perfect. So…thank it, dialogue with it, tell it you no longer need it. 

This is the Internal Family Systems method, which you can do by yourself, see HERE and HERE

3) Be loved.

One needs to be loved *first, in order to love, despite common wisdom. A challenge, because we often run away, throw up defenses, act aggressive - and the other person must put up with it until we are assured they will not leave us and we can finally feel safe enough to accept their love.

For many, this will only happen with a therapist. So get one.

4) Forget all that and find your purpose. Ask what your soul wants from you, and own it. Of course, you will also need the opportunity and power to carry out that purpose.

5) If all else fails, resign yourself to living in trauma world, your soul exists in hell. However, you can help others, articulate their condition, hear them when they speak without judgment or the silly evasions of "but you have so much to live for !" BS.

              

I pray to Our Lady of Czestochowa with Scars that yours may be healed.

The Intimacy Epidemic

     

I get messages and calls from men every week reading to take the razor to their throats - no one understand them.

Here is the explanation.

First, women too are suffering, society is terribly broken for them as well, but this will focus on men.

Psychologically, for millions of years, people would leave their front door, see friends, a supportive tribe, women they grew up with, and dozens of family.

Now, we don’t.

For the primitive brain, it’s AS IF, our tribe has been decimated, we live as outcasts, and without a strong community, we are going to die….regardless of our financial well being.

An old Russian saying - the only thing a man can do alone…is die.

Also, boys have initiation rituals…they prove you can persevere and will produce more than you consume.

A man who cannot will destroy the tribe - their is no “extra food” for most of human living - that goes to women, the elderly, and the sick.

A woman, to feel secure, needs to know a man is part of the group, is respected and accepted by the group of men, and has support.

Women aren’t stupid, men set up the games of social proof, and women choose the men who prove their worth - think of all the girls lining up to cheer on Nascar race winners. These girls are not Nascar fans - they see these men are respected by other men and are “winners.”

This is smart. These men have admirable characteristics - hard work, competency, mastery of the world, the respect of the tribe.

If a man does Not have a girl, that means no women saw this. He has not been accepted by the tribe of men, he is an outcast among his tribe, and his primitive brain tells him he has been rejected, an outcast, and without acceptance will surly die.

Hence, young men *feel utterly decimated. 

(As for the reality of the dating scene for men, it IS grim, I wrote about it HERE.)

                                          

There is no secure attachment. This started in the industrial revolution, in WW I it broke, and only with the zoomers has it finally become a complete lived reality - no family home, no family etc

Adam Lane Smith breaks it down here, he also has an “Attachment group” on discord, classes, and offers coaching, HERE, highly recommended, he says :

"…all of these men have been raised to believe that the world is ending that we're in a total collapse that there's no such thing as a loving family that there's no such thing as a loving marriage there's no such thing as unconditional love there is no such thing as security there's no such thing as Financial Security there's no such thing as a home you can rely on..

…our brains are telling us we live in a scenario where our culture has been absolutely obliterated our family is dead our village is destroyed everything is overrun by strangers and we now live in a hostile environment…

… it's as if our village was killed we're the only survivor and we've been stolen by slavers who are now raising us as a stranger in their culture…

…men can't be secure they can't have a family they can't own a home they can’t just get a plot of land build a house have a wife raise kids and be together that's what most men want…

..we're blocked from doing that and we have a hundred years of broken system that has erased the memory of being able to do that so it’s no longer mentally even possible those aren't even possibilities anymore so the things that are natural to us that our brains are designed for it is impossible for us to have them…

..a generation of young men who just want even the smallest scrap of kindness stability love warmth the brain says I should be marrying the Girl Next Door she should be my friend as we play together and throw rocks and fight with sticks and and catch frogs and then we'll marry her someday and we'll have kids that's what the brain is saying and it's not happening, you gotta fight on Tinder to try to have sex with a girl who has had sex with more men than you have ever met and that's the culture now and men don’t want that so they're just retreating..”