Tuesday, March 21, 2023

Could the Cosmos be a Person ?

      


“If the whole cosmos was created in the image of the invisible God, in the First-born of creation, by him and for him, and if this latter resides in the world through the Church of which he is the head, then the world is in the final analysis a ‘body’ of God, who represents and expresses himself in this body in virtue of a principle of union that is not pantheistic but hypostatic.”
- Hans Urs von Balthasar

Reality itself is personal, and only discloses its true nature to those that approach it as such, intending a loving relationship.


Rather than personhood being something attained at a certain level of evolution or development in the cosmos, Norris Clarke claims that existence itself is personal, and all things that are not persons — rocks, dirt, your old car — are not persons because they are constricted in their being.

It is as if some constraining device diminished the personal aspects of beings, so they only existed in some diminished form.

Norris Clarke tells us,

“…. the person is not something added on to being as a special delimitation; it is simply what being is when allowed to be at its fullest, freed from the constrictions of subintelligent matter.”

There’s also a way in which the cosmos being a person is quite literal, Stephen R.L. Clark in his God, Religion and Reality writes :

“A human person requires a cosmos to sustain it: of anyone it is literally true that the whole world is her body, since the light of the sun, and the respiration of algae, are essential to her bodily survival.

If there is a human person who is God, then the whole world, centered on that person, is God’s body.

As further elements of that one body become obedient to God, the world is healed: we may, bizarrely, speak as if God’s body is at present maimed by human or demonic rebellion. On this account, perhaps, God renews His involvement with the world of finite things by making them His body (as once, before His limbs rebelled, it was). 

Only because He is more than the cosmos can He heal the cosmos.

Incarnation gives us all that honest pantheists can really want: at present we are not God, but hope to join Him.”

St Maximos famously said that the Cosmos is fractured in five distinct ways.

We now live with the dualities of created and uncreated, intelligible and sensible, heaven and earth, paradise and universe, male and female.

Man, being microcosm and mediator of the spiritual and material, is called to heal these divisions within himself.

To unite heaven and earth by virtue, to unify the tangible and intelligible worlds by acquiring angelic gnosis, and to reunite by love the created and the uncreated.

We heal the Cosmos, Being itself, by letting God’s grace overcome these divisions within our own being

Andrew Louth writes that, 

“All the divisions of the cosmos are reflected in the human being, so the human being is a microcosm, a ‘little cosmos’ (a term Maximus does not use explicitly here, though he does elsewhere).

As microcosm, the human person is able to mediate between the extremes of the cosmos, he is a ‘natural bond’ (physikos syndesmos), and constitutes the ‘great mystery of the divine purpose’.

Christopher Alexander is a British-American architect and designer, in his monumental study called The Nature of Order he claims that “life” is a quality not just of organisms, but of space, and therefore in some sense universal. He says :

“There is a sense in which the distinction between something alive and something lifeless is much more general, and far more profound, than the distinction between living things and nonliving things, or between life and death.

Things which are living may be lifeless; nonliving things may be alive. A man who is walking and talking can be alive; or he can be lifeless. Beethoven’s last quartets are alive; so are the waves at the ocean shore; so is a candle flame; a tiger may be more alive, because more in tune with its own inner forces, than a man.”

So, perhaps there is a sliding scale of both “aliveness” and “personhood” potentially sleeping in all matter.

Peter Leithart writes about the Irish philosopher William Desmond’s project :

“Thinghood has been de-selved, objectified, reified in a homogeneous neutralization of thereness; selfhood has been abstracted from things in their concretenes and hovers mathematically over the quantitative homogeneity of exeternality, ready to impose the categories of its mathesis on that homogeneity.”

As an alternative, Desmond suggests that we have to learn to think “beyond univocity,” and recognize the “aesthetic presencing” of things that “present themselves” and are recognized as such “when the mind as other is in proper community with them, in proper rapport with things.”

This is similar to Norris Clarke’s vision, as if things disclosed themselves to us by way of signs and symbols — he says beings are self-symbolizers.

Basically, he says beings are dynamic, relational, and self-comunicative byway of action and “signs”.

Just as phenomenology points out consciousness is intentional, of something, so too beings intend, or point to, some knower as signs.

Clarke says :

“Hence every self-communication of one being to another through action of one on the other necessarily brings forth a self-imaging, a self-expression, one might say a self-symbolization, of the cause in the effect.

If every being, then, turns out to include a natural dynamism toward self-communication through action, we can say truly, in more than a metaphorical sense, that every being is naturally a self-symbolizer, an icon or image-maker, in some analogous way like an artist, expressing itself symbolically, whether consciously or unconsciously. “

The great Catholic theologian Stratford Caldecott, in his essay, Is Life a Transcendental? broaches this subject, he writes,

“A stone, in other words, possesses a kind of interior life of low degree, which is related to the fact that God creates it from within, not without. It has a nature, into which God breathes existence: it receives the power of self-gift in the measure of its own essence.

It plays a part in the whole, and it may be fashioned into a statue or a building whose form is given to it by another. Its degree of aliveness increases depending on the ways in which it receives and gives itself. A beautiful, harmonious pattern contains more self-gift than an ugly or broken one. An animal contains more kenosis than a stone, or even a statue.”

Caldecott goes even further though, noting,

“my own existence implies that of others, and my flesh is porous to the influences and elements of the environment around me. In fact it is only for that reason that I am able to live at all, since the war against entropy depends on my not being a closed system.

This means that the whole world, in a sense, can be seen as an extension of my own body. The fact that I am alive, and that other creatures are alive, is a function of our connectedness to the world, including the inorganic world.

The inorganic is necessary to the organic; one might even say that it is given a meaning or brought to fruition by the organic, just as the organic (a Christian philosopher might add) culminates in the personal and is given a meaning by man.

Which is to say, if I may complete this thought, that the word as a whole must be alive if we are alive, since all inorganic elements are parts, more or less remote but nevertheless essential parts, of an organic process. In themselves, of course, viewed in isolation, these elements lack an animating soul.

But this is only one way of viewing them. In reality they are part of something much greater, to which we also belong, and this greater whole is alive. We recall that Plato in the Timaeus (at 30b) describes the world formed by god as “a living being, endowed thanks to his providence with soul and intelligence.”

He then explains his particular Catholic vision, 

“An interior relationality binds the whole world together, and this is made explicit in the liturgy of the Church. It is by participating in man as priest of creation, and in his sacrifice perfected in the Eucharist, that all creatures, including the inanimate elements, achieve the fullness of their own being by giving themselves to God and thus sharing his eternal life.”

One can either think of this as the Person of God speaking through the Cosmos, or in a panentheistic way (NOT pantheism, the idea that the cosmos IS God) — that is, God and the world are inter-related with the world being in God and God being in the world, which many have squared with St Maximus the Confessors philosophy.

This is certainly true upon more idealist philosophy’s, that matter, as many Quantum physicists say, arises from mind, as Rolland, David Bentley Hart’s dog, puts it,

‘If you believe that everything arises from an infinite act of mind — the rock over there no less than the intelligence in you — then you believe there’s a presence of a… of an infinite knowing logos within the discrete logos that constitutes each thing as what it is.

There’s a depth — even a personal depth, so to speak — in everything, an inner awareness that knows each reality from inside … or from deeper than inside — an act of knowing it’s *interior intimo suo*. There is *one* who knows what it’s like to be a rock.

And wouldn’t that infinite personal depth have to express itself, almost of necessity, in a finite and personal interiority of sorts? Surely the knowledge of what it is to be a rock is already the spirit of the rock *as* a rock — the rock knowing itself.

So isn’t that very knowledge of ‘what it’s like’ already the reality of a finite modality of personal knowledge, a kind of discrete spiritual self? A personal, reflective dimension as the necessarily contracted mode in which the uncontracted infinite act of mind is exemplified in that thing? 

….All part of an endlessly complex, infinitely divisible hierarchy of conscious perspectives, containing and contained, reflecting and inflecting in one another. And the subjectivity of persons, too, like me — and I suppose you too, in a manner of speaking — would be one mind of modal contraction within the total hierarchy of modes of mind, an ever more particular and ever more comprehensive subjectivity and autoaffection and intentionality.”

Stratford Caldecott ends his own reflections thus :

“Briefly put, even if the world as a whole cannot convincingly be said to be “alive” right now, it will be alive when it attains its end. 

It is not alive yet, because the cosmic Fall has introduced death into it. Life — the life of God, that is, Trinitarian life — has not yet been fully revealed.

Death has not yet been defeated, except in principle, by Christ. It is the eschaton that will reveal the true nature of the world that, right now, is still “groaning” to be born.

We might speak of a “personalized” cosmos, a world that through union with Christ becomes a kind of theological person — namely the Church in her cosmic extension. 

And if the world is, or is becoming, a person, it is also, or is becoming, alive. The Holy Spirit is coming to “renew the face of the earth,” by filling all things with the life of God — and “death shall be no more”.

Tuesday, January 17, 2023

The Trauma Generation, 5 ways to heal, #1 with the Divine Maternal

       
                   


Painting, by artist Kate Caputo, is titled, “The Woman", she had a vision of Mary cradling and covering a suffering sister, read more HERE

For Depth psychology most of us are living with trauma, it happens when the pain caused by insecure attachment in childhood - from divorce, a BPD mother, an absent father, neglect, or actual abuse - causes a split.

Demons, or complexes, rise up to protect the injured child, they provide defenses to keep the child safe from experiencing that sense of abandonment again.

Hence, one part of the personality matures quickly, perhaps a world weary street wise personality, or a precocious autistic-like intelligence, and one part remains a child.

Hollywood and entertainment is pushing this and normalizing this.

Look at all the toughest guys, rappers and rock stars and e-girls, or autists, and their love for anime.

                                                   

All the big tik-tok stars on the one hand talking about killing a bitch, on the other being a cartoon character. 

Like Corpse, hyper violence with cute cartoons !

              


Or Freddie Dread with more evil devil girls

                             

Or DeadPool - an 8 yr old boy in a violent man’s body, joking about being molested by uncles, competing with his girlfriends trauma of being sexual molested by multiple family members. All good fun and normalized. 

Ironically, just last week I joked with a girl about being chained to the toilet as a child, “Ah, my nanny, ol’ chainy, I miss her…”

                           


Gen Z is the first to experience the full consequences of WW1 and the industrial revolution destroying multi-generational families and communal living, now our primitive brain tells us we live in a world where our tribe has been decimated, and without it, as outcasts we will surly die…

So, what can we do ? 5 things.

1) Divine Recollection

Make friends with the Divine Mother. An archetype in Jungian psychology, a goddess in religions, and the Virgin Mary in Christianity.

Dr. Donald Kalsched in his book, “The Inner World of Trauma,” writes about a young woman who was abused by her father every Sunday when her mother went to church. The woman endured this sexual abuse for a long period of time. To get through it she used to have an out of body experience, so she could separate herself from the trauma to survive. In therapy one day Kalsched asks her, “I wonder where you went during that time.” She burst out in tears and exclaimed, “I was in the arms of Mother Mary!”

She holds our shattered self, while we go about our daily life. We are “dispirited” and are never really incarnated in our body to exist authentically with other people in real life, we cannot connect to them. But, if we can have a numinous experience with the Divine Mother, she can secure our attachment.

Check out his interview :

               


2) Make friends with your demons.

Truth is they are trying to protect you from being triggered of the original abandonment, to 'kill' outer relations in an effort to prevent further trauma 

Say, perfectionism. This defense will not allow you to be loved until you are perfect. So…thank it, dialogue with it, tell it you no longer need it. 

This is the Internal Family Systems method, which you can do by yourself, see HERE and HERE

3) Be loved.

One needs to be loved *first, in order to love, despite common wisdom. A challenge, because we often run away, throw up defenses, act aggressive - and the other person must put up with it until we are assured they will not leave us and we can finally feel safe enough to accept their love.

For many, this will only happen with a therapist. So get one.

4) Forget all that and find your purpose. Ask what your soul wants from you, and own it. Of course, you will also need the opportunity and power to carry out that purpose.

5) If all else fails, resign yourself to living in trauma world, your soul exists in hell. However, you can help others, articulate their condition, hear them when they speak without judgment or the silly evasions of "but you have so much to live for !" BS.

              

I pray to Our Lady of Czestochowa with Scars that yours may be healed.












Sunday, January 15, 2023

The Intimacy Epidemic


     



I get messages and calls from men every week reading to take the razor to their throats - no one understand them.

Here is the explanation.

First, women too are suffering, society is terribly broken for them as well, but this will focus on men.

Psychologically, for millions of years, people would leave their front door, see friends, a supportive tribe, women they grew up with, and dozens of family.

Now, we don’t.

For the primitive brain, it’s AS IF, our tribe has been decimated, we live as outcasts, and without a strong community, we are going to die….regardless of our financial well being.

An old Russian saying - the only thing a man can do alone…is die.

Also, boys have initiation rituals…they prove you can persevere and will produce more than you consume.

A man who cannot will destroy the tribe - their is no “extra food” for most of human living - that goes to women, the elderly, and the sick.

A woman, to feel secure, needs to know a man is part of the group, is respected and accepted by the group of men, and has support.

Women aren’t stupid, men set up the games of social proof, and women choose the men who prove their worth - think of all the girls lining up to cheer on Nascar race winners. These girls are not Nascar fans - they see these men are respected by other men and are “winners.”

This is smart. These men have admirable characteristics - hard work, competency, mastery of the world, the respect of the tribe.

If a man does Not have a girl, that means no women saw this. He has not been accepted by the tribe of men, he is an outcast among his tribe, and his primitive brain tells him he has been rejected, an outcast, and without acceptance will surly die.

Hence, young men *feel utterly decimated. 

(As for the reality of the dating scene for men, it IS grim, I wrote about it HERE.)

                                          
There is no secure attachment. This started in the industrial revolution, in WW I it broke, and only with the zoomers has it finally become a complete lived reality - no family home, no family etc

Adam Lane Smith breaks it down here, he also has an “Attachment group” on discord, classes, and offers coaching, HERE, highly recommended, he says :


"…all of these men have been raised to believe that the world is ending that we're in a total collapse that there's no such thing as a loving family that there's no such thing as a loving marriage there's no such thing as unconditional love there is no such thing as security there's no such thing as Financial Security there's no such thing as a home you can rely on..

…our brains are telling us we live in a scenario where our culture has been absolutely obliterated our family is dead our village is destroyed everything is overrun by strangers and we now live in a hostile environment…

… it's as if our village was killed we're the only survivor and we've been stolen by slavers who are now raising us as a stranger in their culture…

…men can't be secure they can't have a family they can't own a home they can’t just get a plot of land build a house have a wife raise kids and be together that's what most men want…

..we're blocked from doing that and we have a hundred years of broken system that has erased the memory of being able to do that so it’s no longer mentally even possible those aren't even possibilities anymore so the things that are natural to us that our brains are designed for it is impossible for us to have them…

..a generation of young men who just want even the smallest scrap of kindness stability love warmth the brain says I should be marrying the Girl Next Door she should be my friend as we play together and throw rocks and fight with sticks and and catch frogs and then we'll marry her someday and we'll have kids that's what the brain is saying and it's not happening, you gotta fight on Tinder to try to have sex with a girl who has had sex with more men than you have ever met and that's the culture now and men don’t want that so they're just retreating..”



    











Thursday, December 15, 2022

Why men feel hopeless, the dating scene & other blackpills


                                                                          

A gentleman does not critique women, especially respecting their own suffering, amd how many get off on bullying the fairer sex. 

Nevertheless, a freind in despair asked me to write something from the perspective of young men that he could show his older parents.

1) Men will use this to spread misogynistic hate, as certain women will with male stats, this is not the bolgs intention.

2) Men will use these stats to excuse they're own weaknesses and failure. I know.

3) Men too need to own up responsibility, but this is about women.

4) These stats need context, often which takes the bite out of them, but this is a blog not a dissertation, so tale it with a grain of salt.

If one has the emotional maturity, then read on with the above in mind, otherwise please skip.

First some stats,

"More than 60 percent of young men are single, nearly twice the rate of unattached young women..." HERE

                                          





The Number Of Sexless Men Has *Tripled* In 10 Years HERE 



                                    



Also, male virginity is on the rise :



                       


Men are often bad, and sinful, and violent.

What happens when you remove large forms of social constraint on men ? They form gangs, they become criminal, they kill themselves.

Now, what happens when you remove social constraints for women ? Nothing ? Is not Eve fallen as well ?

Whenever one critiques women, men come out of the wood work to defend them naturally, it is the make instinct, women come to shame such people, call them incels.

But, if we are equal, then women too must have SOME bad aspects.

Since people keep asking me, here are a few.

Most PUA guys will simply hammer home that guys learn these 3 points :

• Hypergamy (She only dates up)

• Solipsism (Her feelings are her reality)

• Briffault's Law (No value, no relationship)

"Once you understand these concepts...It's laughably easy to predict their behavior,"  they say.

Well....sort of, but let's not get too incelly here.

Men love idealy, just the girl. They can hunt and make huts and are *free to love so.

Women (until 60 yrs ago) cannot hunt a mammoth w a 2 month old baby on her back.

She must love the man, AND his ability to get bread and meat. That aspect will be part of her love.

Men want ideal love, women will never understand that, or understand men's sacrifice...just as men will never understand the hard difficulty of motherhood, or insecurities.

Different genders, different loves, and neither understands what love is for the other.


       


    

Really, this is obvious, and what virtually every society has told us since the dawn, every common man knows this, and intellectuals must be given endless proof of what is well known...everything Rollo says was said thousands of years ago in Assemblywomen by Aristophanes in 391 BC....

These stats actually make sense when you look at how vulnerable women have been historically, see HERE :

Half of women in relationships report maintaining a 'back-up' partner in their social circle

43% of women reported having a back-up partner.

80% were in contact with the back-up partner.

50% said their partners were aware of this potential replacement.

25% said they had feelings as strong for their back-up partner as they do for their primary partner.

15% said their feelings were stronger for the back-up then for their primary partner.

It's true women usually only date sideways and up.

These are the results of a study of Tinder and OKCupid swipes, which suggested that the top 78% of women are only interested in dating the top 20% of men.


        






"The top 78% of women are competing for the top 20% of men"




Here, women were asked to rate the attractiveness of a man’s online dating photos, and 80% of men were rated as below average attractiveness.
                               


"A man of average attractiveness can only expect to be liked by slightly less than 1% of females"


                                                          



Pareto principle, 80% of women going for top 20% of guys.

There is no hierarchy, class, or caste system to regulate this anymore.


Pareto principle checks out against the data. Women rate 80% of men as “below average attractiveness”.



                                                   



Gender gap is nothing, check out the height gap
.
"A 6-foot man earning $62,500 per year is, on average, as desirable as a similar 5'6" man who earns $237,500.

In other words, those six inches of height are worth about $175,000 in salary on the dating market.


                                    




Read HERE and HERE 



"A situation emerges in which most men are desperate for wives, but many women are just as desperately throwing themselves at a very few exceptionally attractive men"


"Once monogamy is abolished, no restriction is placed on a woman's choices. Hence, all women choose the same few men"
–F Roger Devlin, Sexual Utopia in Power (2006)


Women are human, and humans want power. Yes, mostly its men who are power hungry, but now women have joined them. Feminism *these days wants the best of all possible worlds: rights without responsibilities; privileges without obligations.

                               



Psychologists also point to the Great Girl syndrome, women being constantly told they deserve better.


"Women are more egocentric and narcissistic than they used to be, according to extensive research by two psychologists in the US.

More women think the universe revolves around them, with a deluded sense of their fabulousness, and believe they are cleverer, more talented and more attractive than they actually are.


According to the American research, there has been a 67 per cent increase in it over the past two decades, mainly among women. "


Read more HERE and HERE.

Also, women have more friends, a wider social circle, and more social support, Read HERE.


                                                                



Furthermore, women are incentivized to divorce, not only alimony, and an entire industry egging them on, but also the idea of a new fresh relationship, and dozens of men vying for their attention is tempting for anyone.

Social media too - it's not easy for a man to compete with thousands of thirsty fella's commenting on a gal's instagram page, practically worshiping her, not to mention the extreme egoism this induces.

So, men are afraid of divorce.

Contrary to common assumptions, divorce today seldom involves two people mutually deciding to part ways. According to Frank Furstenberg and Andrew Cherlin in Divided Families, 80 percent of divorces are unilateral, that is, over the objection of one spouse. The woman.

Now, According to the Department of Health and Human Services , “Children of single parents had a 77% greater risk of being harmed by physical abuse, an 87% greater risk of being harmed by physical neglect, and an 80% greater risk of suffering serious injury or harm from abuse or neglect than children living with both parents.” Britain’s Family Education Trust reports that children are up to 33 times more likely to be abused in a single-parent home than in an intact family.

So, we’d expect a woman to be in incredible danger, and initiate divorce only in the most desperate of circumstances.

No. Not because they are beaten or abused, but, according to Psychology today , they divorce because men fail to meet “expectations for gender equality.”

These are not girls breaking up with their boyfriends. These are marriages. Children are involved.

The reasons given are laughably abstract and inconsequential - the woman aren't treated equal enough etc - mistreatment or abuse is not mentioned at all.


                                                    



What ? Only 30% of men can meet reasonable expectations of a marriage, to the point where entire families are dismantled justifiably.

While 70% of women CAN meet reasonable expectations of men ?

And this is not the fault of women having unreasonable expectations.? This is simply because the vast majority of men act so horrifically that the family must be broken up, with all the terrible consequences suffered by the children that entails ?

That many children are harmed by parental conflict is not in doubt, nor is the fact that some children benefit from parental separation because it lessens their exposure to conflict. But Amato and Booth estimate that at most a third of divorces involving children are so distressed that the children are likely to benefit. The remainder, about 70%, involve low-conflict marriages that apparently harm children much less than do the realities of divorce.

Moreover, Amato and Booth estimate that, as the threshold of dissatisfaction at which divorce occurs becomes ever lower, an even higher proportion of future divorces will involve low-conflict situations in which divorce will be worse for children than the continuation of the marriage. This reasoning leads to a startling conclusion, especially coming from two liberal social scientists: For that majority of marriages in trouble that are not fraught with conflict, "future generations would be well served if parents remained together until children are grown."

Here’s another statistic: Divorced and separated men are two and a half times more likely to commit suicide than married men. Divorce, however, doesn’t seem to lead more women to commit suicide. Separated and divorced male suicides outnumber their female counterparts by 4 to 1.

Women are overwhelmingly the ones who don’t want to honor the marriage vows. This is confirmed by the academic study “These Boots Are Made for Walking”: Why Most Divorce Filers Are Women and the data on the age of wife at the time of divorce.

Putting this together, divorce reform is all about redistributing power from the husband who wants to honor the marriage vows to the wife who doesn't.

Why ? Basically, wives are now incentivized to divorce by the alimony retirement plan racket, the anti-male divorce industrial complex, and the practical guarantee of child custody. 

               



Men have it tough, but women don’t see thew bottom 80% of men, they look at the top 20% in society and indeed it is mostly men, but the bottom 80% of men are just as “oppressed” and denigrated as women, who, in general live in the middle, the bottom 40% of society, in prison or homeless, is mostly men.

Norah Vincent disguised herself as a man for 18 months to see what it was like...2 weeks ago she committed suicide, partially due to the psychological scars of how difficult life was as a man.

She was shocked how cruelly women treated her as a man....and how as a man she was constantly and mercilessly scrutinized for weakness or inadequacy, and judged.

A brave woman.   Read HERE  

Here's the real issue :

1) Women's problems are societies problems, and delt with as such.

Men's problems are their own, and male fraternities & friendships are dying.

2) Women are encouraged to voice problems, even get male attention & sympathy.

Men are despised and judged for the same, rightly I think.

3) As the Psychologist Rollo May said, women will never understand a man's problems, and will lose respect if they are voiced....A woman's problems, however, must be also his, listend and attended to, in relationship.

4) As the author writes, her manhood was constantly scrutinized, by women, men, and even children, for weakness, and judged harshly instead of engenduring sympathy or help.

And by most meterics, men have it harsher, prison, poverty, mentally illness, suicide, health, dangerous work etc etc

Both suffer differently but equally, only men have no support, but this strengthens them.

Of course, history has seen this before, I've blogged on it HERE 

A man needs attachments and purpose. A family provides both. Plus respect, significance, and a place in society. Also approval from Mother Nature - your genes are worthy - and from the the community of men. Studies have shown how men without families are distrusted by other men. Without a family, one's sense of worth vanishes, in society's eyes as well.

                                                                  



Adam Lane Smith breaks it down here, he says :


"…all of these men have been raised to believe that the world is ending that we're in a total collapse that there's no such thing as a loving family that there's no such thing as a loving marriage there's no such thing as unconditional love there is no such thing as security there's no such thing as Financial Security there's no such thing as a home you can rely on..


…our brains are telling us we live in a scenario where our culture has been absolutely obliterated our family is dead our village is destroyed everything is overrun by strangers and we now live in a hostile environment…


… it's as if our village was killed we're the only survivor and we've been stolen by slavers who are now raising us as a stranger in their culture…


…men can't be secure they can't have a family they can't own a home they can’t just get a plot of land build a house have a wife raise kids and be together that's what most men want…


                                                          



..we're blocked from doing that and we have a hundred years of broken system that has erased the memory of being able to do that so it’s no longer mentally even possible those aren't even possibilities anymore so the things that are natural to us that our brains are designed for it is impossible for us to have them…


..a generation of young men who just want even the smallest scrap of kindness stability love warmth the brain says I should be marrying the Girl Next Door she should be my friend as we play together and throw rocks and fight with sticks and and catch frogs and then we'll marry her someday and we'll have kids that's what the brain is saying and it's not happening, you gotta fight on Tinder to try to have sex with a girl who has had sex with more men than you have ever met and that's the culture now and men don’t want that so they're just retreating..”


And of course I haven't even touched on the endless articles blaming men and the "patriarchy" for everything from global warming to the rising price of blueberries, the "cancel men" movement, the Future is Female, and a thousands other movements devitalizing young boys. The amount of hatred and demoralization, from denigrating fathers on TV, to film routinely portraying men as weak and incompetent, had one psychologist I know say to me, "It's open season on men, and these boys I see get the message loud and clear : your bad, your not wanted, and your garbage."


Of course they're ready to hang themselves.



                               






And despite claiming the desire for equality, women seem to have no problem with the bulk of low paying or dangerous jobs going to men.


Plus 2/3rds college graduates are female.


Female share of BA Degrees by College Major, 1971-2021. Women earn the majority of degrees in 10 fields and are near parity with men in 4 other fields and are only a minority in only 2 fields: Engineering and Computer Science, the only two gender disparities we ever hear about.

                                                  


Clinical psychology doctoral programs are now 79% female. When the reverse was true for law and medical schools, we talked about the systematic exclusion of females from those professions and the harm that caused clients/patients.

                                                   



Only 5 percent of American psychologists who are thirty years of age or younger are male !


Source: American Psychological Association, 2020.




"In every country studied, girls are more likely than boys to climb the income ladder...75% of American daughters escape the lowest quintile—not unlike girls in Finland, Norway, and Sweden. Fewer than 60% of American sons experience similar success." https://city-journal.org/html/boy-trouble-13615.html?utm_source=pocket_mylist

               

WHY are boys doing worse ?

Well, prejudice.

Yes, as in most studies, when actually studied the prejudice nearly always favors women against men, in hiring as well :

"Boys Lag Behind: A comparison of gender-blind vs. non-blind test scores reveals a teacher marking bias in favor of girls. 

This appears to be part of the reason that boys fall behind girls at school.

"Without teachers’ [marking] bias in favor of girls, the gender gap in choosing a science track would be 12.5% larger in favor of boys."

 doi.org/10.1016/j.econ…8

         





The Village Theory.

Anthropologists theorized that in a village of 60, you'd expect to see less grand love affairs than a modern city of 60,000.

But no.

A person has 2 or 3 true loves.

It is as if the human brain has only 2 or 3 slots for an in depth partner.

Unfortunately, young women fill theirs early.

Also, with many partners you are training your body for infidelity. The more partners a women has, because of oxytocin production, the harder it will be for her to pair bond.

In youth we mound ourselves to the other, multiple partners yield past impressions making long term attatchment tough.

In the 1970s, only 6% of women had 4-5 premarital sex partners, and only 2% had 10 or more. In the 1990s, 16% of women had 4-5 premarital sex partners, and 10% had 10 or more. Fast forward to the 2010s, and 18% have 4-5 premarital sex partners, and 18% had 10 or more (that's almost double the amount in the 1990s). 

The sexual revolution may have begun in the 1970s, but the effects show up significantly in the data at the start of the new millennium. In the 1970s, 21% of brides were virgins. In the 2010s, only 5% were. Again, we can only imagine how much that number has lowered in 2020.

I could go on...and on...and on...and on....


Parents are noticing, even forming "mom groups" to help their sons, but don't understand the why :
                                                   


It is a common trope that men sought to repress women's sexuality, the opposite is true !



Sexual Economics, Culture, Men, and Modern Sexual TrendsRoy F. Baumeister &
Kathleen D. Vohs


This is one the of best studies out there.


..."men have collectively put themselves at structural disadvantages in the organizations that men have created....


The large social structures that comprise the worlds of business, government and politics, economic relations, science and technological innovation, and the like are male creations, and yet the young men entering any of them are required to accept formal policies that women will be treated preferentially at each step. How can we account for this remarkable, ironic twist of history?


We have even concluded that the cultural suppression of female sexuality throughout much of history and across many different cultures has largely had its roots in the quest for marketplace advantage (see Baumeister and Twenge 2002). Women have often sustained their advantage over men by putting pressure on each other to restrict the supply of sex available to men. As with any monopoly or cartel, restricting the supply leads to a higher price.

The giant trade thus essentially involved men giving women not only easy access but even preferential treatment in the huge institutions that make up society, which men created. Today most schools, universities, corporations, scientific organizations, governments, and many other institutions have explicit policies to protect and promote women. It is standard practice to hire or promote a woman ahead of an equally qualified man. 

Most large organizations have policies and watchdogs that safeguard women’s interests and ensure that women gain preferential treatment over men. Parallel policies or structures to protect men’s interests are largely nonexistent and in many cases are explicitly prohibited. Legal scholars, for example, point out that any major new law is carefully scrutinized by feminist legal scholars who quickly criticize any aspect that could be problematic or disadvantageous to women, and so all new laws are women-friendly.


Nobody looks out for men, and so the structural changes favoring women and disadvantaging men have accelerated (Baumeister and Vohs 2004).

"...the evidence overwhelmingly indicated that the cultural suppression of female sexuality is propagated and sustained by women ... Similar to how OPEC seeks to maintain a high price for oil on the world market by restricting the supply, women have often sought to maintain a high price for sex by restricting each other’s willingness to supply men with what men want."

"....men want sex, indeed more than women want it. Women, meanwhile, want not only marriage but also access to careers and preferential treatment in the workplace.

The giant trade thus essentially involved men giving women not only easy access but even preferential treatment in the huge institutions that make up society, which men created."

Read the study HERE


As far as the explosion of male suicide, which I once made a post on and had, literally, hundreds of women up in arms astonished that I'd dare suggest the powerful oppressors deserve our sympathy, I'll simply quote Rollo Tomassi :

"Men will always be more disposable than women, and women instinctively understand this. As such, the female psyche evolved to reconcile men’s disposability to move on from the discomfort of men’s sacrifices. Today, nothing serves that rationalization better than the meme of “toxic masculinity.” 

Men’s suicides can never be attributed to anything less than their fragile egos. This makes them victims of their socially implanted “toxic” masculinity. A female narrative would have men put a noose around their necks to live up to a socially constructed definition of masculinity. 

Therefore, the male suicide rate is attributable to men’s fragile egos, self-pity, and inability to live up to being a ‘real man’ caricature that some nebulous Patriarchy created for them. Toxic masculinity is the perfect social convention to absolve women of the guilt of men’s sacrifices. Men are hardwired for self-sacrifice, so women had to evolve psychological adaptations to help them clear the red from their life’s ledger...


Men are 2 to 3 times more likely to kill themselves after a job loss and eight times more likely to commit suicide after a divorce. In addition, 7 in 10 suicides are men between 45 and 65.

Gynocentric media waves away these stats with toxic masculinity and men’s so-called stubbornness in seeking psychiatric help for depression because “men think it makes them look weak.” Again, this absolves women’s complacency but ignores any conversation about what would motivate men, particularly in this demographic, to commit suicide. There’s no attempt to understand the underlying reasons for male suicide. Any associated guilt, remorse, or cognitive dissonance about men’s deaths is assuaged with easy cultural narratives about pathetic maleness.

There has never been a generation of more purposeless men than today. From an evolved psychological perspective, men need a function."

As far as the effect modern consumeristic culture has had on women's dating and marriage, I've blogged  HERE and HERE