Is God enough ? Adam needed Eve.

                                   

The Orthodox Nun and therapist Katherine Weston in her book Loneliness or Fruitful Longing remarks that though Adam walked with God, it was not enough. He needed Eve. He needed community.

With God, but without others, without a life progressing toward some value, we remain crippled.

The Fathers tell us, look towards self, and it’s hell, towards others, and we find paradise. But it’s difficult to practice self-forgetting when we are alone.

As Prof.Kenneth Seeskin in his essay on Adam and Eve says, HERE,

"Human perfection cannot be achieved only through intellectual and spiritual development, but requires companionship and physical intimacy."

Personhood requires love, which requires relationship, doesn't it ?

What about all those imprisoned ? Victor Frankl, the Jewish psychologist, or Father Arseny, the Orthodox priest imprisoned in Soviet Russia ? Did not God suffice for them ?

That is different.

First, they were afforded the opportunity to set value upon their lives - they helped others, in a kind of community. Their lives had meaning.

But, more than this, they had no choice. I have been to prison. There is freedom there.

A man today thinks, if only he could figure out a way, try harder, he could get the girl, or promotion, or life change that would create a life of meaning.

And sometimes that’s right. In prison, however, that burden is taken away.

You would think the number would be zero, but many remark at how many of the Dalit’s, the “untouchables”, in India are seen smiling, despite living with their family in desolate shacks, pulling a rickshaw for 12 hrs a day. But this is the wisdom of the caste system, they have accomplished all that they might within the possibilities laid down from society.

A fine mechanic might have his conscience, or wife or father, always whispering to him - you could do better, own your own shop perhaps...You can fix your life !

Those at the bottom in America are not the backbone of society, they are the losers. The message is - they ought to, and still can, do and be better.

The Aristotelian model of suffering & well-being identifies a set of baseline conditions and virtues for human happiness, with suffering being due to deviations from these conditions. Modern psychology and psychiatry are tacitly built on this model, with one popular version being Seligman’s PERMA Model: P – Positive Emotion; E – Engagement; R – Relationships; M – Meaning; A – Accomplishments. 

Jordan Peterson, despite his various short-comings, in an able psychologist, he says,

“We experience much of our positive emotion in relation to goals. We are not happy, technically speaking, unless we see ourselves progressing—and the very idea of progression implies value. Worse yet is the fact that the meaning of life without positive value is not simply neutral. Because we are vulnerable and mortal, pain and anxiety are an integral part of human existence.

We must have something to set against the suffering that is intrinsic to Being. We must have the meaning inherent in a profound system of value or the horror of existence rapidly becomes paramount. Then, nihilism beckons, with its hopelessness and despair.”

He’s right.

First, there is brain chemistry. For the depressed it is crucial they be put on some kind of anti-depressant.

AFTER that, what causes depression ?

Johann Hari, in his best-selling book Lost Connections, identifies 7 kinds social causes, disconnection from:

Meaningful Work

Other People

Meaningful Values

Childhood Trauma

Status and Respect

Natural World

Hopeful and Secure Future (faith)

He writes HERE,

“Everyone knows human beings have natural physical needs,” he added. “Well, there’s equally good evidence that we have innate psychological needs. We need to feel we belong to a group; we need to feel we have a stable future; we need to feel that we are valued; we need to feel we have meaning and purpose in our lives.”

Yes, a psychologist will first ask - do you have a significant other ? A job ? A friend ? A reason to live - something you can make progress at ?

You need at least 3 out of Hari's 7 as foundations, 4 or more and you can get better. Less than 3 and you're heading for suicide, even with a firm belief in God.

Unfortunately, our Churches often teach a kind of passivity, waiting on God, and giving of oneself when one has nothing to give. You must acquire love before it's given, as a result, much moral damage is done. 

For my own experience, and a free PDF of the book that most helped me, go HERE 

               

For most psychologists, there are the six basic human needs :

Love and connection
Significance
Variety
Certainty
Growth
Contribution

Laurence Heller’s groundbreaking NARM modality lists five core needs and their associated core capacities :

1) Connection

Capacity to be in touch with our body and our emotions Capacity to be in connection with others

2) Attunement

Capacity to attune to our needs and emotions

3) Trust

Capacity to recognize, reach out for, and take in physical and emotional nourishment

4) Autonomy

Capacity to set appropriate boundaries

Capacity to say no and set limits

Capacity to speak our minds without guilt or fear

5) Love-Sexuality

Capacity to live with an open heart

Capacity to integrate a loving relationship with a vital sexuality